Humanist Weddings WA

Stand By Me

2010-04-01T06:10:00.000-07:00

WORKING TOWARDS A HAPPY MARRIAGE

The video above was created by "Playing for change", a multimedia group created to inspire, connect, and bring peace to the world through music.

The song says, no matter who you are...and no matter where you go in your life..at some point you're going to need somebody...somebody to stand by you

It is often said that there are many factors that contributes to a happy marriage. Standing by the person you love must surely rank as one of the most important contributing factors. When you stand by your spouse, it reflects the committment you make towards each other.

I know from my own experience how much it means to me....for my beautiful wife, Berice to stand by me and more importantly...to know that she will always be there for me.

The Celebrant Support Network - Engaging with one another

2010-03-16T06:13:00.000-07:00

Just prior to me becoming an Authorized Celebrant, I was alerted to the existence of a group of Celebrants and 'wannabe' Celebrants who meets once a month at the Belmont LeisurePlex. I was advised that this group acts as a Support Network for Celebrants and those who aspire to become one.

So I decided to throttle out there one Sunday afternoon in December 2009..to check it out. I was thinking to myself that I would be able to learn from others...especially when I have to conduct my first wedding ceremony the weekend after.

I got there and walked into a room of about six other people...who spontaneously welcomed me with open arms, though not literally. They are a larger group but for a host of reasons, not many could attend on that Sunday. After some brief introductions...and discussions on a range of topics, they all stood up....and demonstrated the recommended ‘standing positions” for the wedding party/celebrant in response to my query about the issue. I immediately felt reassured about what I had planned or proposed to do at my first wedding ceremony.

What I found most heartening is the group’s commaraderie, sincerity and their ‘collective’ willingness to help. More importantly...there’s no indication of zealous rivalry amongst the group, more a recognition of each other’s strengths and weaknesses...and how we can all help each other. Each individual appeared quietly confident without the self-importance.

In no time at all, I no longer felt like a ‘newbie’ in the group. Since that first meeting, the group have progressed further..by becoming more organised. In an effort to raise awareness and continuous improvement for all attendees at these meetings, it was agreed that each meeting will have a focus on one key aspect of Celebrant work. Those who have previous experience on such matters almost willingly agree to play a lead-house role in facilitating the discussion at the next meeting.

At the last meeting, the naming ceremony was discussed and a recent example of what was performed at Esperance ...was shared with all present. All these discussions not only serve to reinforce what we have learned in our training but also provides the opportunity to hear new ideas...of ‘how others are doing it’. Very enlightening indeed!! We also hear about what's happening in the Industry and the tribulations (if any) associated with it..without contributing to the goss...naturally.

For me..these meetings provides me with the opportunity to ‘engage’ with my peers and share ideas and resources where appropriate. The fact that I will, in all probability; not be doing a lot of Celebrant work merely reinforced the need for me to stay ‘engaged’ with the group. The additional bonus is that I find all the individuals in the group easy to relate to. Ask no more !!! and if you are a wannabe Celebrant and want to get involved, just email me.

First civil wedding ceremony in Perth

2010-03-09T07:54:00.000-08:00

(Reprinted from the Subiaco Post - Page 15 in their February 6, 2010 Edition)

Weddings get the humanist touch

The foreshore of the Swan River in Claremont provided the backdrop for the first civil marriage in Western Australia which happened 36 years ago on February 9.

Laadan Fletcher, the former lay preacher turned humanist who was the celebrant for the pioneering ceremony, turned 90 this month. He recalls how the humanist movement helped usher in a new way for people to get married without going through the church or registry office.

"I feel very proud that I performed the first one in Western Australia,"

Under a section of the Marriage Act and without the need for parliamentary approval, the former Attorney General Lionel Murphy, who was also a humanist, had the power to appoint celebrants other than religous minsters who could carry out secular marriages. "The idea of a civil marriage came from the humanist movement, which he and one or two other members of the Whitlam government belonged to," Dr Fletcher said.

"I was a vice-president of the Humanist Society of WA when we got a letter from Mr Murphy asking us to put forward nominees to become celebrants." "I think it's funny that more weddings now are carried out each year under this part of the Act than are in churches"

Between 1974 and his retirement as a celebrant in 2001, Dr Fletcher would go on to conduct another 700 weddings as well as funeral ceremonies. Dr Fletcher, who was raised in the fundamentalist faith of the Christadelphians in the UK, even went on to become a part-time preacher.

But he abandoned his belief in this and other religions as a young man during World War II. A teacher and lectuer in educational history, Dr Fletcher came to WA in the late 1960s to take up a position with the University of WA.

For many years in UWA, he was the only member of staff with the authority to act as a marriage celebrant on campus for teaching staff and students who wanted to get married there. Ceremonies were held at the back of Hackett Hall in an area known as Tropical Grove as well as in the popular Sunken Gardens.

"I conducted a lot of weddings in those gardens, it is a really beautiful spot." Dr Fletcher said.

NOTE: I had the priviledge on behalf of the Humanist Society of WA Inc. to organise a luncheon to celebrate Laadan's 90th birthday. It was a terrific occasion as attendees to this gathering took the opportunity to share their own individual experiences with Laadan with all present.

I became a Marriage Celebrant (Registration No: A12586)

2010-03-09T05:53:00.000-08:00

Originally from Malaysia, I am married to an Australian and have been living in Australia for just over 36 years. I have two grown up children and currently work full-time in Business Development with CPA Australia in the West Australian Division.

I had only become a Registered Marriage Celebrant in October last year though I was qualified to become one in June 2007. Despite being approached by friends and colleagues to become their Celebrant, I did not proceed to file for my registration to become Celebrant owing to the competing demands on my time. I eventually submitted my registration and was registered on the 30th October, 2009. I conducted my first wedding ceremony on the 12th December, 2009 for an ex-work colleague who along with his bride were originally from England. I was humbled by the fact that they put their trust in me to be their Wedding Celebrant even though they knew that theirs will be the first wedding ceremony that I will be conducting.

In a real sense, I am a ‘newbie’ in the Marriage Celebrant world. I do not advertise my services and do not have a website. My interest lies in conducting Civil wedding ceremonies with a humanist approach.

Humanist Approach

My motivation to become a Celebrant is because of my interest and long association with the Humanist Society of WA Inc where I subscribe to the core values in Humanism. As a matter of interest, a Humanist, Dr Laadan Fletcher conducted my wedding ceremony in 1982 at the University Sunken Gardens at the University of Western Australia.

Essentially, Humanism is about rationalist thoughts based on evidence and science. It is a belief based on human compassion and doing the right thing because it is the 'right thing to do' without reference to a supreme being. So in a sense, Civil wedding ceremonies have by default become humanist wedding ceremonies given it's secular nature.

A wedding ceremony should always be dignified and personal. Ultimately, a marriage is about an equal partnership and a commitment by the couple to “engage with each other”. It is about learning and growing together as a couple and as individuals in their own right. It involves mutual love, support, respect and affection for each other.

The wedding ceremony should always be about the couple and therefore, my role is merely to facilitate and formalise the relationship under Australian law. As such, I would seek to “engage” with the prospective couple as a matter of course..to get a sense of what they want in their wedding ceremony. Getting a 'feel' of what the couple are both all about would provide the basis for me to commence scripting a wedding ceremony that best reflects their persona.

The wedding script will be a “work in progress document” once I agree to take the role on. As an explanation, with the last wedding I conducted, I provided revised wedding scripts for the couple over a period of 4 weeks as they came up with things and issues which they had not thought about earlier and later wanted them incorporated. I will also work with the couple as to how and where we can incorporate their personality and style...into the monitum, the vows..etc. given that there’s some flexibility in what has to be said by the Celebrant in the ceremony.

It is not my intention to pro-actively seek work as a Marriage Celebrant but I will be delighted to consider any requests put to me. Marriage is a very special occasion and I will not take on any Celebrant work without the accompanying passion, diligence and the committment that it deserves.